Vicarious

I say:
Please have a baby!
Primarily so we can go to the John Lewis baby section!

The Clinical Psychologist replies:
You would so only be enthusiastic about Xavier, Roman, and Camille (IVF multi birth) for half an hour
We’d all go to JL
You’d get some material for a poem about how glad you are that you can still enjoy your body, drink wine, and have a sex drive and then
You’d avoid us
They’d keep asking about
Auntie Sara
And I’d have to eventually tell them you found them too creepy to be around
They’d be devastated
You’d get one more poem out of it
And that would be
It