It’s Been A Lovely Night

I’ve never understood this ‘Don’t want to die alone’ thing. You know, like –
‘Why you on Tinder?’
‘Don’t wanna die alone!’
Because dying alone seems preferable to me.
For example:
You go out, you have a good time. You have both been consummate conversationalists. Your stomach sits sated. At certain points of the evening, you may have even felt like you embodied jazz. Now it is time to go home.
But wait! They insist on accompanying you to the bus stop. And so you stand shivering as ellipses bounce back between you because there’s only 3 minutes until the C11 to Archway and how can you now inorganically conjure something up that doesn’t defraud the entire night?
Ergo
You should have just left it at the door
Guys –
Always
Just
Leave it at
‘It’s been a lovely night’